Affection & love scare me. I remember telling a friend that there'll come a time when you've been hurt too much and it will probably take a long time for your heart to heal. You just cease to expect, to believe, to trust, to hope that this time it'll be for real. I think I sort of lost myself somewhere along the lines, I think being betrayed by people I trusted made me replace the heart that felt too much with a robotic one. Because I really, honestly, can't seem to care anymore.
How ironic is it that I got 'infinite hope' tattooed on my wrist just a few weeks before people starting abusing my trust & love? Maybe sooner or later I'll find my way back again, maybe I'll overcome this and start believing in myself again.
Until, then, it's really nothing but metal & titanium.
May 23, 2010
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poor girl. thank god u r such a honest person.
ReplyDeletedoink.... then stop letting ppl hurt you... lol :)
ReplyDeletefie, hope u will still keep your head up no matter what happens k! i know we don't hang out that much but if you need a friend, just holla :D have fun celebrating kamaatan in kk. sia pun mau join ohhhh!
ReplyDeleteI feel the exact same way you do in this post. It hurts. So fucking bad.
ReplyDeleteI'm also trying to get back to myself, but I'm having trouble even feeling anything but despair.