Berdansa di kota

I'm going to TAG tonight after a very long absence! Gonna kill my feet with some Kings of Leon and electro musix.

Everything's allowed in Barsonic.

Cantik sungguh

This is heaven for me.

I'd give you my kidney if you bring me here, pretty please?

aku tak suka ini

Style is of course, a subjective thing, and since this is my blog and not yours, don't forget that everything here is of my own subjective opinion so if you don't like it fuckoffplzkthx

I've been told that I can be extremely bitchy at times and I know I get annoyed easily by the most trivial things, like accents, teeth, and people's clothes. Let's rant about the latter today.

Fashion no-nos for me OR, What Pisses Me Off Majorly When I See People Wearing This Hideous Shit:

Wearing leggings and a short top.
does.not.look.good. okay?! Your ass will never look good in leggings, unless you're a Victoria's Secret angel. Even then there's something repulsive about it cause everything from your ass crack to your crotch is visible, kinda. DNW!


I can still forgive guys who wear cargo pants but girls?! Lay your hands off them fugly things please. There's only a tiny weeny group of girls/women who can wear cargo pants, like trailer park inhabitants, or homeless European anarchy supporters who run around cities like Berlin with 8 mongrels, sitting in subway stations asking people for small change. For the average person, these pants are a huge no-no. The military look was never in, mmkay?


Capris. No one under the age of 50 should wear capri pants. You're only allowed to own them if you're an elegant grandmother sipping tea in her garden somewhere in Florida Keys. You're not one? Thought so.

more to come, folks! stay tuned for more bitchin.

Cantik!

Pretttyyyyyyyyy! colorful things make me happy!

Why are you so expensive, Nooka, why? Why do you break my heart so?

Baju baju

Sometimes I really wonder who does the buying for some shops. The choices are damn limited and the designs are so horribly boring that my creative juices slowly get sucked dry by just looking at them. I'm not gonna waste a cent in your shop if you can't offer me anything other than clothes that look like they're only fit for middle-aged housewives who stay at home all day.

One advice: be young at heart, go out more and look at what the current trends are. Go to clubs or hang out joints in Changkat or whatever, you'll see enough fashionable people to inspire you on what to get for your store.

Can't.stand.boring.shit.

Oh perutku tersayang

My tummy's been giving me problems lately, it's even more sensitive than usual, random tummy aches and acting up when I mix my drinks. Lycheetinis, whiskey and vodka redbull last Saturday equaled to me puking at TJ's completely sober. Fine, not having dinner might have something to do with it but I've lost appetite to eat too. The only thing I force myself to have nowadays is breakfast.

And this insomnia is killing me! It's either i can't sleep at all or I keep on waking up.

It's time for a beach holiday, hopefully in March if we plan properly, I need a break before I faint or something.

Reality

All my life I was known as a sunshine to my friends, the girl who was either endlessly smiling or humorously bitching about people, life and everything in between. I felt optimistic and happy in a crowd, I trusted people too easily, loved too much, maybe too often genuinely caring and worrying about those who I considered 'friends'.

Lately though, it seems like everything I believed in is being proven wrong, things like love, faith, goodness in human nature, compassion, gratitude. Am I too much of a hippie, have I been too naive to believe that destinies and fate exist? That love will always win in the end? That people can change, slowly but surely, because self-improvement should always be a lifelong goal? That working together means mutual respect for each other? That gratitude for people who genuinely care for you is an inherent feeling? That friendship is precious?

It's like, something's telling me to wake up and be more realistic. That reality is all about survival, and the only way to survive is to be egoistic, cold-hearted, jaded and pessimistic about everything and everyone around you. It's all about bringing other people down so you can be the only one on top. Hurt everyone else before someone hurts you.

I don't want to be like that 30-something woman who laughed at my Winnie the Pooh notebook on my first day of work because she had lost the ability to feel happy about insignificant, small, cute things and preferred to have a 'serious and strict' appearance. I don't want to be that 50-something woman who felt that she should compare herself to younger girls who could've been her daughters just to make herself feel better. I don't want to be bitter as I grow older.

But it seems inevitable when you're surrounded by the generation of the jaded, by people who betray you just to make themselves look better, by people who don't seem to appreciate you, and by people who are just fucking negative all the fucking time.

Fuck, growing up's a bitch.

1.

She began to teeter as she walked, fell almost daily, bumped into things or, at the very least, dropped objects. She was in the grip of an insuperable longing to fall. She lived in a constant state of vertigo. ‘Pick me up’, is the message of a person who keeps falling. Tomas kept picking her up, patiently.

-The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Hitam putih coklat

I was looking at pictures I took when I just arrived here a year back, and compared them to how I am now-
I'm so tanned I look like a beach bum. That, or a construction worker.
My usual uniform for the day would be shorts, sleeveless or a tube top, and flip flops, I'm always wearing flipflops except when I go clubbing. Then I'm almost always out in the sun, cause during smoke breaks we'd stand underneath the hot hot blazing sun (no extended roof at the office building), and when I'm out I'd just walk around under the sun. Not good for my skin, I know :(

My arms face and legs are all tanned and the difference is quite obvious when I'm nekkid

And the tan lines on my feet are very very obvious lol

My Paint skillz FTW.

Aku rasa gemuk?

Everyone whom I just recently met noticed that I've lost weight during the past 3 months or so (I was a fatty bom bom, now I'm just a fatty). They're all like, "ZOMG (as in zoh-mee-god, they don't actually just spell it out, yes there are some people who do that in real life), what happened?!"

You wanna know how I lost weight?
a) Got a tongue piercing (no solid food for a week)
b) Went through heartbreaks and your parents from half way across the world stressing you out and making you feel guilty

Results from the above mentioned activities:
a) You lose weight
b) You can't sleep
c) You get panda eyes
d) You look like shit, even worse than your usual shitty appearance
e) You feel like shit, walk around half-alive until even the 70-sth-year-old consultant in your office notices that you're not your usual sunny self
f) People start to worry (and eventually get tired of) cause you're crying so often
g) You crave for delicious food but when it arrives you don't eat anything cause you're too numb to taste it
h) You stop loving yourself

That was the last few months of 2009.

2010's gonna be better with a little help from good friends and a little more love from yourself.

The Killer in Me is The Killer in You

Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, all that and more, were the fairytales I grew up with. From when I was a small, scrawny, fugly little girl, I've always believed that there's one person out there who's meant for you - two imperfect people who are perfect for each other. And if you end up alone in the end, I've always thought it's because the one you're supposed to end up with left the mortal world earlier than you, and hopefully you had managed to find that person before it happens. But more often than not it's a question of not whether you've met each other, it's whether you managed to not let that person go.

I have a feeling that nowadays we've become too scared, too impatient, too cynical, too cold-hearted to fight for love, to believe that things can work out fine, to have faith in the invisible chemistry that binds you and me together. It's like, you know that love exists, because you feel it so strongly in your heart, but you'd rather walk away than stay, because staying means facing an unknown, insecure future. Walking away is easier because at least you know what's going to happen - you'll be broken hearted and sad and alone - and somehow the negativity is a security blanket for us, as crazy and fucked up as that sounds.

I've always admired old couples who are still in love with each other after so long, who go through ups and downs together, who were on the brink of goodbyes but still turned around and fixed the broken pieces because they know they can't be without each other. Because things are only perfect if your imperfect other is around to complete you.

Why do we get tired so easily? What happened to us?

Kebodohon tahap dewa

You go around demonstrating with cow heads when you think there shouldn't be a Hindu temple in your neighborhood -

You go around bombing churches when you think BM-speaking Christians shouldn't use the word 'Allah' -

Then you preach about 1Malaysia?

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Baik dan buruk

Bad news of the day:

My nape (the back of my neck) got burnt by a lighted cigarette last night at Velvet. Apparently I stopped suddenly and TJ's head knocked into mine and his cig dug into my neck.

Good news of the day:

I have a pair of Billabong shorts which I couldn't fit into 2 months back. Now they're loose and slipping off my ass.

Situasi di bandar

Have you ever noticed and wondered why some Chinese guys have this one really really long nail? The salesperson serving me at the Canon shop had a super long nail and I wanted to ask but I forgot..

I can't stand crowded places. I used to be able to but now I just get a motherfucking headache and I become so cranky when I'm out shopping and there are tons and tons of people around. Like fucking IKEA on weekends with all these families. I swear they see going to IKEA as a fucking family outing cause they never buy anything, just look at things sit on beds, block the fucking way with their baby prams and 5 other kids plus grandparents. Then they camp outside taking up the table for the smokers cause it's 'dinner time' for them - highlight of their fucking week!

Leave the screaming babies and kids and old people at home and make IKEA a more peaceful place plzkthx.

Hari pertama hidup aku

This will be the first day of my life.

2009 sucked balls, heartbreaks, anger, disappointments, regrets, hurt, family issues thingamajig.

SO FUCK YOU 2009 I'm glad you're over and done with!!!

2010 is gonna be better, new beginnings, positive thoughts, getting up again with bruised knees and a bleeding heart, looking at the mouth of the tiger with a smile on my face and my fingers forming a hippie peace sign.

Let's go drink and dance and be happy cause life's too short to be scared about things that haven't happened yet. While everyone's fearing their own bliss, while everyone prefers to give in to anxiety and fears, let's just enjoy the moment and let go of the past. Remembering that happiness is a possibility is hard but if we don't, we might lose people that we love, which is more than the loss we think we're avoiding when we succumb to our negative feelings.

"It's easier to remember sadness, because there are no scars for happiness."

I'm gonna let go of the past sadness, the bitter memories, and focus on being happy and being thankful for everyone around me. Even if I'm sad sometimes, I'll still smile after :) Less tears for 2010!

Yay Barsonic tonight!!