Burn the magazines

Maybe it's because I grew up where women were the ones who laid the foundation, who were the strong ones holding the family up, mentally and physically, that I have a different notion of how I should be, of what a lady is, as opposed to the existing notion of the patriarchal society we still have in Asian countries. Of course I had aunts who told me, "Don't do that, that's not ladylike. Girls don't climb trees, they don't make noise." I had my mother's friends telling me to join beauty pageants so I can become 'famous', as if that's the only thing that matters in a girl's life. My grandmother loved me and spoiled me too much to ever restrict me in anything, even though she grew up during the days where your father was the one who determined whom you got married to, love as a reason never existed, what more considered?

Once I had to answer a question which required me to name the role models in my life, and it was easy. I didn't have to think of a celebrity (and I never will), no Madonnas or Angelina Jolies for me - I just named the two most important women in my life: my grandmother and my mother, who were, I think, unknowingly, the feminists of their generations. They were the first ones who told me about the sexism that exists out there, they taught me how to fight the traditional view of 'a woman's duty is to be a housewife' (yes it's their fault that I can't cook or do chores, haha), and, most of all, they were the ones who warned me to never sell my feminine body for monetary or career gain. Never ever flirt with a man so you can get that business deal, never use your God given charms to climb up the corporate ladder, because what you're doing would encourage their chauvinistic belief that has already been rooted for centuries, that doing so would just give men a reason to treat women like cheap whores.

My mother is also a strong believer of natural beauty (maybe too much of a believer, sometimes), and for that I am grateful, because I know people whose mothers constantly ridicule them about their weight, or their appearance. Of course I'm still very insecure about myself (even though I don't look it), but this stems from all the magazines and tv shows that say we must always be immaculate, women must always be bombshells, and we, like headless chickens, run around worrying about how we're not wanted and how miserable we'll be if we don't look like Megan Fox. I run around make-up-less 90% of the time, I'm almost always in shorts and flipflops, I airdry my hair and brush it like, twice a day. Sometimes I feel too plain, too much of an outcast because I'm completely different from all these KL girls in their high heels and five inch make up (but then again, take those cosmetics off and what do you get? a SURPRISE.). Thing is, I'm more comfortable being me than some high maintainence chick, and I feel happier knowing that people like me for who I am rather than for my (artifical and temporary) looks.

I think, despite this country having gained independence from western imperialism, a lot of Malaysians are still being colonized, albeit mentally. We adhere to western beauty ideals, we speak with accents and endlessly boast about being educated overseas, we proudly announce the fact that we can't speak the local language, we even go through fucking physical pain just to fulfill the white man's beauty 'standards', like having double eyelid operations or elongating your legs (which involves breaking your bones and spending months immobilized). HELLO? Crazy much? I think you should spend the money on getting braces instead, or getting a fucking education that would make you less bimbotic and more aware of serious social issues, and less concerned about how chinky your eyes are.

Embrace yourself, you're fucking Asian. You're not white, and it's not a crime.

Amen.